What is the theory behind Family and Systemic Constellation?
Whether you choose to work with me 1:1 or in a group setting, there is a high chance that elements of Family and Systemic Constellations will find their way into the session. Although it is definitely an experiential approach, meaning that you have to experience it to really understand it, I have still tried my best to explain it a little below.
Family constellations is a modality Bert Hellinger developed in Germany after spending 17 years with the Zulu tribe in Africa and observing their naturally occurring societal systems. Building on some existing therapeutic modalities such as psychodrama, he created an approach that focuses on re-establishing the natural balance and the flow of energy within systems, such as families, organisations and the self or body. “Constellations” really is a mistranslation, and the modality is better described as family/systemic “placement” i.e. where members or aspects of a system are positioned in relation to each other.
The main principles of Family Constellations are the orders of love, healing sentences, phenomenology, and the knowing field, which are used together to re-balance systems, heal intergenerational rifts, trauma, and also break dysfunctional transgenerational patterns. In brief:
Orders of love - Naturally occurring patterns that allow the flow of love and energy in a system e.g. everyone that is part of a system has an equal right to belong and be included
Healing sentences - The language of the soul; language constructed to speak difficult truths that help re-establish the orders of love e.g. if a child has taken on a (grand)parent’s emotion “I have carried your shame for a long time out of love for you. But I cannot carry it for you any longer and with love and respect I now return it to you.”
Phenomenology - (it’s a mouthful, I know) observing things the way they are, as they present, often in regards to placement or actions of representatives e.g. divorced parents’s representatives look in different directions could indicate unresolved issues
Knowing field - the assumption that we are able to access another person’s system (with their permission) and embody or experience some of the information relevant to that person as a representative in their constellation
What happens during a Constellation process?
I like to explain the process like this: We all have stories, about our family, ourselves, and our culture, and they are frozen in a polaroid-picture-like manner. They are often not that accurate, as we view events through distorted lenses, such as pain, rejection, or fear. Yet, we cling to them, e.g. “My parents never loved me”, and this keeps us stuck in unhelpful patterns, such as being unable to form close relationships. Often, we are not even consciously aware that we hold such beliefs, that they are effecting our lives or how they are related to your family or systems.
Family and systemic constellation allows us to take such a “stuck” picture and put it out in front of us, out of our mind and into the room, in a process called externalisation. This could be done in a group setting, where members of the group represent aspects of the “picture” (e.g. family members) or in a 1:1 session, where these aspects could be represented by inanimate objects (e.g. figurines).
The externalised aspects are then intuitively positioned in a way that represents the current situation. Once placed, they provide information about their experience and relationship to other aspects of the constellation. This placement and initial impressions often already offer a lot of insight into the situation and where imbalances are present (e.g. mother and father at opposite ends of the room, facing opposite directions), as can be seen in the example figure.
The facilitator then assists the aspects to move towards a healing picture, generally a constellation that is more balanced and harmonic than the original picture (e.g. mother and father closer together, facing each other). As a last step, the client is often asked to step into the healing picture to facilitate embodiment of the constellation (e.g. being held by mother and father together).
This new picture is achieved by re-establishing the orders of love with specific healing sentences throughout the constellation process and it is not role play. The representatives step into the knowing field of the client and as such are able to access actual information about the aspect or person they are representing. The aim is to separate fact from story and offer a different, new, and more holistic perspective of events, people and systems- not to reinforce the '“stuck” picture.
This process of changing the stagnant picture or pattern can be incredibly therapeutic, especially when we internalise a new, healthier, or more helpful one, which is what we call the “healing picture”.
If you are more of a visual or auditory learner, this is for you!
This video includes a wonderful explanation of Family and Systemic Constellation. Please note that each constellation is unique and so is each facilitator! For example, I do not exclusively work with family systems, I also work with abstract elements (like your heart or your soul).
If you would like to see an example of Family Constellations in action, check out Love, Sex and Goop - Episode 5 on Netflix!
Or if you enjoy a good podcast, tune into this interview where I explain the modality, underlying theory, common patterns and practices.